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How to get her number

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Talking to a woman is difficult enough without having to deal with the complexities of follow-up, and a lot of guys make mistakes when it comes to getting a girl’s phone number: On the one hand, there’s the guy who has a great time with a girl out at a bar or club, but is too timid to get her number. On the other hand, there’s the guy who has a tenuous connection with a woman, but gets her number anyway more or less just to say that he did. Should you get her number? Here’s a guide to not just if you should, but how to go about getting it.

Signs You Should Get Her Number

Let’s start with signs that you should get her number:

  • Gut Check: Check your gut. Did you two hit it off? Would you like to see her again? A lot of times, the best call is the most subjective.
  • Real Rapport: Did you two have a connection? Did she laugh at your jokes? Did you laugh at hers? Do you guys have stuff in common? Do you want to learn more about her? Answering yes to these questions is a definite yes.

Signs You Shouldn’t Get Her Number

On the other hand, you don’t want to get the phone number of every girl that you talk to — only the ones that you’ve established a real connection with. Basically, if you’re answering “no” to the questions above, don’t bother. Again, she might be good as a contact, but if you’re out trying to meet women for the purpose of dating, you should only get phone numbers from girls that you’re actually interested in.

It’s not just about using your time effectively — though that is a factor. It’s also about being fair to her. When talking to a girl, asking for her phone number is a way of expressing interest in her. She’s going to think that you’re more interested than you actually are if you go for her phone number, even if you proclaim that you’re only interested in being friends.

How to Get Her Number

Here is a time tested way of getting a girl’s phone number that works amazingly well. Here’s how it breaks down:

  • Don’t Ask: First of all, don’t ask. While talking to a girl, just tell her that you need her number so the two of you can get together some time. Of course she’s going to want to give it to you, because of course she’s as interested in you as you are in her.
  • Don’t Wait Until You’re Going to Leave: Get her number at a high point in the interaction, not right as you’re about to walk away. Asking for a number right before you bounce is a great way to have her thinking you’re just out trying to collect numbers.
  • Have Your Phone Ready: We want to make it as easy as possible for her to say yes. So have your phone out and ready for her to input her phone number.
  • Hand Her Your Phone: Physically hand her your phone. Put it in her personal space bubble. She’ll take it from you and start entering her phone number.
  • Have Some Killer Date Ideas: While she’s entering her number into your phone, rattle off some date ideas. Relate them to what you two have talked about — your shared interests and passions. Build on the connection you’ve already created.
  • Text Her Right Away: How long should you wait to text her? The short answer is, don’t wait to text her. Text her something cheeky and flirtatious right away like “Hey, it’s Onos, the guy with the sexy eyes ;-)” That way she has your number and the ice is broken.

Now that you’ve got the number, you need to know what to actually do with it and how to play it cool! I’ll give you some great texting tips tomorrow.

I hope you’re starting to believe…that we really are in this together!

Onos Elijah is a lifestyle, entertainment, story, emtreprenuer and fashion website in Africa. Headquartered in Benin, Nigeria, its social footprint has grown through its collective brands – onoselijah.com.ng, Onos Elijah Stories and Onos Elijah Style – to be the largest on the African continent with more than 200 million impressions each month

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“Love lasts three years”… here is everything you need to know!

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“Love lasts 3 years” isn’t just the title of a book by Frédéric Beigbeder or the film based on it.

When someone says that love lasts three years (the rough equivalent of Anglo-Saxons’ concept of the “seven year itch”), it’s also a reference to a biochemical theory.

It seems that divorce most commonly happens after three years of living together. In biochemical terms, love is a combination of oxytocin, dopamine, prolactin, noradrenaline and luliberin. Intense feelings of happiness are released by phenethylamine (PEA), while tenderness is associated with endorphins.

So, that’s the biochemical aspect. But in reality, the real question is, how it is possible to love the same, single person, whereas we can have many friends throughout our life? 3 years of love and that’s it? How long does love last?

Why does love last 3 years?

It seems that, in order to have a life span that’s prolonged by 10 years, and to be in good health, you have to have around a dozen sexual relations a month. Okay, fine, but does love really last 3 years?

If we say that love lasts 3 years, it’s because of the signs given off by scents. Let’s look at a concrete example: My friend, if someone makes you smell the scent (of sweat or another body odor) of a man you’ve just met and fallen for, you’ll find something pleasing about it. But if you do the same experiment three years later, you’ll find something unpleasant about these smells. But why?

It’s physiological. Over time, pleasure hormones diminish. But don’t worry – you still have oxytocin, which is the attachment hormone. That means you have to stimulate this hormone. In order to do that, you have to banish the humdrum feeling of the routine from setting in by adding some creativity to your relationship. Be novel if you want more than 3 years of love.

So, in theory, love lasts 3 years, maybe less. But in practice, it’s different. It’s clear that the way you felt when you fell in love at the beginning of your relationship won’t remain intact over the years. But this doesn’t mean that a couple who’s been together for 3 years is sure to fail and fall out of love. No. Anyway, surely you know a couple who loves each other and that’s remained solid for many years. This may even be the case for you, and you’re only reading this because you’re in a rough patch (something normal for a relationship and generally when we talk about love).

You have to be aware of what defines and makes up love. Sex, a real bond, kindness, tenderness, etc. All of this can last for your entire life as long as it’s well maintained.

The key is to take real pleasure in sharing your life with your partner. There are and always will be rough patches in love. You have to know how to overcome them to make your relationship last and remain solid.

3 years of love and then…?

3 years of love and then you go on loving each other…or not…

Honestly, it all depends on the couple. Every love story is different and specific to each couple. There are far too many elements to consider when it comes to making a relationship last or go bust. The most important thing is to continue to discover and remain interested in each other.

But the most important part of that is to truly discover and know oneself. You have to discover and know both yourself and your partner. Why? Because all too often, we idealize the other person. Then, when we realize that this ideal doesn’t fit with who our partner is in reality, we take a big fall. 3 years of love can certainly go on.

You have to bear in mind that human beings exist to reproduce. So, when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they experience a sort of addiction that makes them happy when they’re together and unhappy when they’re apart. I talked about scent a bit earlier. Well, scent subconsciously guides a man and a woman into becoming partners. Of course, it’s not just scents that guide us when it comes to love. Biologically speaking, every month a woman has an egg that’s waiting to be fertilized. When that’s accomplished, she’ll be completely devoted to the growth of a child for 9 months.

For a man, it’s different. Every day he produces millions of spermatozoids, and his objective is to use one to fertilize a woman’s egg. To put it clearly, a woman is going to seek out a partner who can go the distance when she’s pregnant and then to help raise the child who’ll be born. Naturally, she’s looking for a man who’s strong in every sense of the word and who can provide material resources. For a man, it’s a different story. He wants a woman who will carry his child and pass on his genes.

So, 3 years of love and then, the secret is to let go of dependency in order to give room to happiness in a relationship. This is the most important thing: that a man and a woman feel good together. This feeling can grow and be sustained in different ways: sharing things and doing activities together, talking to each other, laughing like kids, etc. You have to focus on the essential and have common values that will allow you to remain solid and on the same wavelength.

How long does love last?

It all depends on what you do with this love. The question “How long does love last?” doesn’t have a single, definitive answer. Love can last a lifetime or a few seconds. If love only lasts 3 years, then why are there still so many couples who’ve stayed together for much longer?

You can’t make yourself fall in love. On the other hand, you have to take care to ask your partner questions in order to really know them and not be content to simply live in the clouds. People always say that the first moments of a love story are the most beautiful and that after, it’s less wonderful. However, you have to keep your feet on the ground and not idealize your partner. So, in order to know how long love lasts between people, there is no exact response. There is no standard duration of love.

You could say that love lasts for 3 years because that’s the amount of time you need to have a child and for it to become autonomous. During this period, a person doesn’t pay attention to the faults of their partner because they often find them perfect. But after these 3 years, you see a lot more faults in the other person.

So yes, the love and passion at the start of a love affair will naturally end up losing their intensity. But those aren’t the only things that count when it comes to love, fortunately. You have to remember the pleasure of being with your partner and sharing things together, the desire to be together just the two of you, and succeed in understanding each other. The pleasure that you feel with your partner – that’s what will maintain your relationship as the years go by. Whatever challenges you face, if that pleasure is maintained, love can last a lot longer than 3 years, in a different way.

It’s important not to base your experience on fairytales because love has absolutely nothing to do with “they lived happily ever after.” Love is a lot more complex than that, and even if there are some times when everything seems perfect, it’s not a constant – and the fact that this is the case doesn’t stop you from loving each other for more than 3 years.

There are clear reasons to say that love lasts 3 years, but that doesn’t mean you have to go your separate ways after 3 years in a relationship. Every human being changes and evolves over the course of their life. You mustn’t have any illusions about or idealize your partner. You have to keep your feet on the ground and tell yourself that love has different phases.

The passion of the first days you were together won’t necessarily be eternal but there are other ways to make love last in a relationship. You have to maintain the pleasure that you experience when you’re together.

And there’s another important thing that we don’t talk about enough: egotism. In love, you have to be egotistical. In other words, you can’t force yourself to stay with someone if you don’t get any pleasure from being with them. You have to be egotistical for two things: loving yourself above all and loving to be with the other person. If each partner keeps this in mind, then love can last as long as you maintain it.

What do you think about all this? Do you believe that love only lasts 3 years? Have you felt a difference when you reached the three-year mark with a partner? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Can you get your ex back?

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Yes, you can.

I’ll be focusing on the the guys in this article, but mind you it’s also applicable to the ladies..

Getting an ex-girlfriend back is definitely possible.

Think about it this way…

Have you ever hated someone and then really liked them later on when they changed the way that they communicated or behaved around you?

Of course, it happens to everyone.

Additionally, has there ever been a time when you didn’t want to be with a particular woman, but you then changed your mind and really wanted to be with her?

Of course, it’s natural and it happens to most guys.

You definitely can get an ex girlfriend back because it is possible to change the way she feels about you.

Not only is it possible to change how your ex girlfriend feels about you, but it’s a very common thing that guys from all other world do to get their ex back.

When you begin saying and doing things that make her feel respect and attraction for you, she will naturally begin to feel differently about you.

When an ex-girlfriend feels enough renewed respect and attraction for the guy she once dumped, she will almost always open herself back up to being with him.

It’s just simple psychology and when you know how to do it, you will kick yourself for not learning this stuff earlier.

A Break Up is Not Permanent if You Can Make Her Feel Differently About You

Right now, your ex might not have much or any feelings for you to want to get back into a relationship.

However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t change how she feels. In most cases, all it usually takes is a spark of attraction and woman immediately becomes more open to communicating with her ex and even meeting up with him in person.

Once you have reactivated your ex-girlfriend’s feelings for you again, all you need to do is have the confidence and know how to guide back into a relationship with you.

It might seem like a difficult thing to do right now, but that’s because you’ve probably been turning her off and haven’t yet reactivated her feelings for you, so she’s most-likely being closed off to you and not giving you any signs that she wants to get back together.

You can change that though.

You have a lot of direct control over how much or little attraction your ex feels for you.

As long as you are interacting with her and sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you, her guard will come down and you can then guide her back into a relationship and get her back for good.

Why Did You and Your Girlfriend Decide to Break Up?

Most breakups don’t happen out of the blue.

There are usually plenty of warning signs that a guy will either ignore or be too inexperienced with relationship to notice.

Many of the guys I’ve helped to get an ex back have said that they were shocked when she wanted to break up, because she’d often talked about marriage, starting a family and how much she loved him.

Yet, just because a woman says that she wants to be with you for life one day, it doesn’t mean she will continue holding onto that thought if you no longer make her feel the same way.

Love is something that needs to be taken care of.

If you want to be keep a relationship together for life, you have to deepen the woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you, rather than taking her for granted and expecting that she will stick around.

In the past, a woman would stay with a man for life even if she was unhappy because it was shameful to get divorced.

In today’s world, women break up with guys all the time and don’t even worry about it. In fact, society and even a woman’s family and friends will encourage her to break up with a guy who isn’t right for her.

It’s just not like it used to be.

These days, you actually have to know how to attract a woman and then maintain her attraction for you. Otherwise, she can and often will leave if she gets bored of not feeling the way she really wants to feel.

This is why guys usually fail to get their woman back after a break up, because they have no idea how to make her feel attracted in the ways that really matter to her.

For example:

  • A woman breaks up with a guy because he was too nice and he then tries to get her back by being even nicer and more romantic. What she really wants is for him to be more ballsy and confident around her, but he just doesn’t understand that, so she moves on.
  • A woman breaks up with a guy because he has become insecure, so he then tries to show her that he is fine without her by ignoring her for 30-60 days. Then, when he finally interacts with her again, she tests his confidence and notices that he’s still insecure, so she continues moving on without him.

If you want to get your ex-girlfriend back, you’ve got to understand and accept the type of attraction experience she wants and needs.

You’ve got to give her the type of attraction she wants, otherwise you just can’t expect her to want to be with you anymore.

She’s not going to care if things used to be good between you and her because that was the past and this is now.

You’ve got to make now feel good for her and then she will open back up to you.

Some Do’s and Don’ts Now That You’ve Broken Up

There are many classic mistakes that guys make when a woman breaks up with them and they’re trying to get her back, but here are some common ones to avoid:

1. Don’t plead, beg, whine or otherwise put yourself into a position where you are saying that you will do anything to please her.

Women are mostly attracted to men who are mentally and emotionally strong, so showing emotional weakness like that turns a woman off.

If you have already begged and pleaded or have been a bit of an emotional wuss, don’t worry – you can recover from that.

Just start being a confident, emotionally strong man from now on and she will pick up on when she interacts with women.

Women are naturally wired to pick up on the subtle cues that men give off to display confidence via their conversation style, vibe, body language, behavior and actions.

If you have honestly learned how to be more confident than you were before, it WILL come across when she interacts with you and it WILL make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

She might not openly admit it, but she will feel it.

Another mistake to avoid is…

2. Don’t hound her with calls, letters and text messages.

The more pressure you put on her, the more she will want to distance herself from you.

You and her were individuals before you met each other, you were individuals while you were in a relationship (despite how close you both felt) and you are both individuals right now.

She is an individual and can do whatever she wants with her individual life, just like you can. If you make her feel as though she doesn’t have the freedom of choice as an individual human being, it will make her want to get further away from you.

There’s nothing wrong with being persistent or assertive while getting her back, but just make sure that you don’t give her the impression that she doesn’t have a choice in the matter.

3. Don’t call her friends or family and ask for their help.

Her friends and family will usually take her side and if they don’t, she will quickly convince them to. She will then feel resentment towards you for getting her family or friends involved in the break up.

4. Do demonstrate that you are happy with or without her.

Talk confidently, do fun things, catch up with friends, go out to party and enjoy yourself and let her see that happening in your life via your social media account(s). If

Even if she has unfriended you or blocked you, she will still stop by your social media accounts from time to time (and unblock you temporarily) to see what you’ve been up to.

If she can see that you are happy without her, she will be much more open to communicating with you and meeting up with you because she won’t be worried about you desperately trying to get her back.

One of the most common mistakes that guys make is posting up lonely photos of themselves on social media.

Some guys don’t even post anything on social media and when their ex girlfriend stops by to have a look, she sees the same old profile photo and status updates and assumes that he’s just sitting around missing her.

Even though that might not be true, she’s still going to think that way.

So, if you have a social media account (e.g. Facebook, Instagram) make sure that you don’t appear lonely. Let her see that things are happening in your life and you seem happy without her.

5. Do display the charm and confidence that originally attracted her to you.

Be positive, fun and happy to talk to, rather that serious or depressing.

Women are naturally attracted to the emotional strength in men and turned off by the emotional weakness. So, whenever you interact with her, make sure that you display emotional strength by being confident, having high self esteem and being positive about your life and where it’s going.

Don’t try too hard to seem super happy and confident without her. Just relax and let her see that you’re strong and have been doing fine since the break up.

6. Do begin to fix any insecurities that you have regarding your ex (e.g. jealousy, feeling like you’re not good enough for her, clinginess, etc) before you meet up with her in person to attempt a reconciliation.

You don’t have to become perfect before you meet her, just better.

When your ex girlfriend sees that you’ve become a more emotionally strong man, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

Often, that’s all it takes for some guys to get their ex girlfriend back, but if your ex is playing hard to get, you just need to make her feel attracted in other ways (e.g. flirt with her, make her feel girly and feminine in comparison to how masculine you think, talk, feel, behave and take action).

Will You Get Her Back?

After helping hundreds of guys to successful get their ex back, I can say with confidence that you have a VERY HIGH chance of getting your ex girlfriend back.

The very least that I can promise you is that she will agree to meet up with you in person.

At the meet up, you can then use my advanced attraction techniques and persuasive conversation techniques to get her to want to give the relationship another chance. The techniques that I provide make her feel differently about you, which is the most important thing.

If you meet up with your ex and make her feel the same old types of emotions that turned her off you in the first place, she isn’t going to very interested in giving the relationship another shot.

However, when you make her feel respect and attraction for you in ways that she’s never experienced before, that is when things begin to change in her mind.

Getting back together actually begins to become HER idea.

She starts to feels as though her life just doesn’t feel right with you and your love in it. She feels confused that all of a sudden, she’s feeling so attracted to you and she begins to rationalize that as being a sign that she should give you another chance.

Once the relationship is back together, you then deepen the love, respect and attraction that she feels for you and she won’t want to break up again.

Drop your experience below in the comments box, I’ll leave a reply.

Onos.

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12 golden rules to asking women out

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Want to ask Her Out? Make Sure You Follow These Golden Rules

It’s the simplest way you can ever try.

Asking a woman out can be a vexing and uncomfortable experiences for lots of guys, especially if you don’t really know what you’re doing. You’re exposing yourself to rejection, revealing the limits of your conversational abilities and attempting to forge some sort of meaningful connection with a complete stranger in a short space of time. No wonder most of us would rather tuck up with Netflix for the night.

The truth is, though, that everybody finds dating a little bit difficult, even the most dazzlingly articulate and genetically blessed among us; but most of us want to be in some kind of close, romantic relationship eventually, and the only way to get there is through the awkward dating stage. The key to making the whole process as smooth as possible is to know what you’re doing, and this usually involves tweaking a few key variables that are within your control, and adjusting your attitude towards the stuff that you can’t change. If you feel like you need a little help in the dating department, these 12 golden rules for asking women out will have you confidently approaching women in no time:

1. Be Well Groomed

It always helps to start with the basics, and making sure that you look your best and smell great will give you a strong foundation of confidence for approaching women. Whether you’re a walking Ken doll or more humbly endowed in the looks department, you can always make the best of what you’ve got with a carefully chosen outfit, fresh haircut and well-groomed facial hair, if you have any.

What you wear when you approach women will depend somewhat on the setting you’re in and who you are as a person. If you’re not a three-piece suit type, don’t go to the nearest bar dressed like the Wolf of Wall Street in the hopes of picking up, because it will come across as forced and desperate. Instead, wear the nicest version of an outfit you could be seen in on a regular day, which may mean a shirt your female friends always compliment, designer jacket you splurged on years ago, or a crisp pair of sneakers. Take care of your hair so that it’s always looking presentable, and to top it all off, make sure that you smell good! This is an element of grooming that’s often forgotten about, but it’s one that can make all the difference, so go ahead and select a cologne that works for you.

2. Choose Your Setting Carefully

We’ve covered this before, but you shouldn’t be accosting women in any old place just to hit on them. Women are unlikely to want to be approached at the gym, on the subway, or while they’re on the job, for example: these are places where women go to get on with their ordinary lives, and being asked out in these environments can be perceived as annoying, awkward and potentially even threatening.

Instead, restrict your approaches to situations where women can reasonably expect some flirting and romantic contact. Bars are generally considered fair play in this regard, house parties are also fine, and obviously more explicitly dating-focused events like speed dating and singles night at clubs are A-okay. If you’re not sure about any particular environment, err on the side of caution, and if you absolutely must approach a woman in an unconventional setting like the grocery store, be exceptionally polite and relaxed in your approach — and think hard about what “must” means here; is her comfort really worth less than your desire to approach her?

3. Abide By Good Digital Etiquette

Up until this point we’ve assumed your approach will be in-person, but these days, fewer and fewer of us are meeting dates in bars or at house parties. Instead, we’re downloading Tinder and Bumble onto our phones and crafting profiles on OkCupid and Zoosk in the hopes of meeting the partner of our dreams, and so a slightly different set of rules will apply to online interactions.

Online dating is not an entirely different universe to IRL, and many of the same rules of in-person communication will still apply: being polite and up-front still goes a long way, for example, as does being a generous and interesting conversationalist. But online dating is different in that the social distance that occurs when you are mediated by a screen sometimes facilitates an easier crossing of boundaries. Men who are timid in person may send brash or lewd opening messages, say, or may even be tempted to send an unsolicited dick pic online but would never flash a woman in person. Dating apps like Tinder can sometimes be the wild west, and you need to make sure you’re landing dates rather than ending up on women’s block lists.

A fairly good rule of thumb, then, is to consider your proposed digital approach in an in-person context: would you ever approach a woman this way in a bar or club? If not, think twice about doing it online. Is it okay to ask a woman out by text? Again, think about the context: is this a woman you know from work who has given you her phone number to communicate about a project? Steer clear, because that’s unlikely to be appropriate. Is it a friend of a friend you met once at a party and got on well with? There’s no reason a friendly, well-crafted approach by text couldn’t work. In short, don’t say or do anything online that you couldn’t in good conscience do in real life.

4. Craft A Strong Opening Line

Whether you’re asking a woman out physically or through a screen, you’re going to need to consider the words that you’ll use when you first approach her. In person, it’s better to err on the side of a simple greeting rather than an elaborate pick-up line, and you won’t usually need to conjure up anything more complex than a simple “hi!” or respectful compliment. Online openers, however, require slightly more thought: on Tinder, for example, an unadorned “hi!” will annoy your recipient and blend into the 45 other near-identical messages in her inbox, so try working in a question about her bio or complimenting one of her featured photos instead.

Both on- and offline, there’s a sweet spot between an opening that is too blunt and thoughtless, and one that’s overwrought, corny or excessively long. Keep things punchy, friendly and polite and you shouldn’t go too far wrong.

5. Cultivate A Healthy Approach To Rejection

Approaching women can be difficult because you’re opening yourself up to rejection, a painful feeling most of us try to avoid at all costs. But, while none of us are ever going to love the feeling of hearing “no thanks” or “sorry, I’m not interested”, having the ability to take rejection on the chin is a crucial attribute for anyone looking to date proactively and successfully.

Being cool about rejection not only makes a tense situation easier on everyone, it will also benefit you by improving your odds of successfully landing dates. How so? Well, the more graciously you’re able to handle rejection, the less of a personal toll it will take on you: you’ll be spending less time having a tantrum and licking your wounds after hearing a “no” and more time realizing that there are plenty of fish in the sea, not all of them are going to want to date you, and that says nothing about your overall desirability as a person. This realization will give you more confidence to approach a greater number of women, thereby increasing your odds of eventually hearing a “yes”.

6. Think About Body Language

This one’s a tip for the flesh-realm: Bear in mind how important your body language is when you’re approaching a woman in person. Nervously shuffling your feet or fidgeting with your hands may not be a deal breaker, but it’s certainly not going to endear you to the woman you’re approaching or make the interaction feel smooth and natural. It can help to be aware of the nervous tics you tend to display and the situations that bring them out so that you can consciously correct them in real time. As much as possible, you want to appear confident, so if need be, take a “fake it ’til you make it” approach.

Consider the body language of the woman you’ve approached, too. If she’s being encouraging enough verbally but leaning away from you or crossing her arms defensively, it’s possible that she’s merely being polite, in which case you may want to cut your losses. Remember that our bodies tell stories about us, too, so consider what yours is saying about you and the messages you may be receiving from hers.

7. Keep The Conversation Balanced

You’re looking and smelling good, you’re in an appropriate setting, and you’ve approached a woman confidently with a simple and effective opening line. Good job so far! You’re aiming to turn the interaction into a date, though, so there’s still some work to be done yet, and at this point pretty much the deciding factor that will determine whether you’re landing a date or not is your conversation skills.

Because approaching a woman can sometimes feel like a sales pitch — you’re trying to convince her you’re worth seeing again, after all — some men veer on the side of dominating the conversation and making it too much about themselves. Obviously this isn’t a particularly attractive approach, so make sure that you are keeping the conversation multi-directional by inviting the woman you’ve approached to talk about herself, too. Ask questions about why she’s at the event where you’ve both found yourselves or the interests she’s outlined in her bio; provide space for her to lead the conversation for a while; and be conscious of keeping the speaking time balanced between you.

8. Be Clear About What You’re Looking For

By this point in the conversation you may be almost ready to put the idea of a date on the table. However, it’s important that you’re clear, in your own mind at least, about what you’re looking to get out it. Are you hoping for a casual hookup, and do you have no intentions of getting further involved beyond that point? Are you trying to meet the love of your life and settle down as soon as possible? People have a wide range of dating goals, some of which are incompatible: if you don’t believe in sex before marriage and she’s hoping to add yet another notch to her bedpost, or vice versa, you’re going to want to bring that reality to the surface as soon as possible.

Of course, at this stage you probably don’t know each other very well at all, and it’s far too early to put all your hopes and expectations for a relationship on the table — you haven’t even been on one date yet, after all! However, what you can do is pick up signals that the two of you are broadly on the same page, or red flags that indicate that you’re miles off, so bear this in mind when you’re having that initial conversation.

9. Make Sure You’re Actually Interested

Just as it’s ultimately important to make sure that the woman you’ve approached is looking for the same kind of relationship as you (casual, committed, monogamous, etc), it’s also important to confirm that you’re a good fit for each other more generally. Even if you’re both looking for the same type of relationship, you may not necessarily have compatible communication styles and personalities or the requisite chemistry to make the relationship operate as intended, so this is another thing you’re going to need to start gathering information about as early as possible.

Again, you’ve got a limited window of time and minimal information available to you at this stage, so you’ll necessarily be making a snap judgement. You can, however, start picking up clues, signals and red flags, bearing in mind that you’re not looking for 100% certainty that this woman shares your entire worldview (how boring), but instead filtering out anyone with whom you have a glaring incompatibility. Long story short, you have to actually like each other, so confirm as much as possible that she’s someone you want to spend more time with before you ask her out.

10. Know When To Back Out

Let’s say things aren’t going as well as you expected. Maybe she’s left a sour taste in your mouth by saying something casually bigoted or small-minded, or you’re getting the strong impression that she’s not really interested in you, or you’ve realized that you have wildly divergent relationship expectations. It might sound obvious, but the best course of action here is to abort the mission, rather than to press on and ask her out anyway.

It’s eminently possible to back out of asking a woman out tactfully and in a way that causes minimal embarrassment on both sides. Stick to a simple script like, “Hey, it’s been great talking to you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your [night/week/Tinder experience]” and make a cool and collected exit. Simple as that, no harm done.

11. Have A Date Idea In Mind

If you’ve cleared every hurdle so far and still think the object of your affection is someone you want to go on a date with, it’s time to do the actual asking out part, which means that you’ll need to have put some thought into what you’d like to do together. Are you imagining a coffee date or dinner? Movie or mini-golf? You don’t need to have planned out the whole outing or be on the bleeding edge of super original date ideas, but you should have some answer to the inevitable, “Sure! What shall we do?” question, assuming you do get a positive response.

Coming up with date ideas can be a headache, but there’s no need to stress about it too much: we’ve got you covered with these 10 great first date ideas.

12. Pick A Moment (And Be Smooth)

This is the moment you’ve been waiting for: you’re chatting amiably and you seem to be attracted to each other, so it’s time to finally propose a date. How and when you put the date idea on the table matters, so be mindful of your timing here. If you ask a woman out within the first 30 seconds of chatting or after only a few messages back and forth, it’s likely to come across as over-eager. On the flip side, though, if you drag the conversation out too long you may overcook it. It can be a tricky balance, but as long as you’ve been chatting long enough to establish some rapport, go with your gut feeling and strike when the moment feels right.

It’s over to you how you word the invitation, but try to bring up the idea of a date somewhat organically. Some variation of, “Hey it’s been really great chatting to you. Would you interested in doing it again over dinner?” should be all you need. And that’s really all there is to it! It may sound convoluted laid out in such detail, but asking a woman out is not actually the frightening or complicated task many men think it is. At the end of the day, you’re two human beings who want this social interaction to go as well as possible. Even if the exchange results in a declined date, there’s no reason it can’t still be cordial and affirming. Think of “no”s as practice and don’t let them beat down your confidence: If you keep these 12 golden rules in mind, your “yes” will be just around the corner.

We’re in this together,

Onos

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STAND UP TO YOUR CHALLENGES!

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THE SEA

Usually, ‘the sea’ is used as a symbol in literature to represent life and its hardships. The sea, with its daunting width and depth, simply stands for life itself. It may be quite calm, but it become raging and even deadly in an instant, with the waves representing the sudden obstacles life throws our way.

(Aug 25, 2016 In literature, what does the sea symbolize? – Quora).

The sea could represents pressure,challenges or even difficult situations.

But then,the sea could also represent opportunities,a stepping stone or even a breakthrough!

Peter sank while walking on the sea.

Jesus walked on it!

The disciples panicked because of the troubled sea,

Jesus saw it as a more favourable weather for rest!

Always stand up to your challenges,

You are unlimited!

You can’t be stopped except you stop yourself.

Define challenges don’t let it define you!

Challenges are like the sea,you have the power to command it to be calm or you can choose to walk on it into your Next level!

Deuteronomy 31:6 The Message (MSG)

Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”.

Rhetoric question; What is the SEA to you?

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